is there a common issue you see with folks who have a hard time connecting to God?
 
Yes, their image of God is one that does not elicit a desire for connection.  Romans 2:4 tells us that it is the kindness of God that leads to life-change.  God, as we clearly see in the person of Jesus, is kind, good, powerful, loving,  forgiving, accepting, understanding, able and willing to heal and help...why would I not want to connect with a God like that?  Beyond that a person must want to connect to God and have some methods with which to do that, i.e., the spiritual disciplines.

when you try to explain to people what "spiritual formation" is, what do you say?

The process by which the Holy Spirit is forming the whole person to resemble Jesus, inside and out, for the sake of others and for the glory of God.  I also have them look at these scriptures:  Gal. 4:19;  Romans 8:28-30; 12:1-3; Col 1:24-29; 3:1-17; II Peter 1:3-11; Matthew 5-7   
An important passage is Philippians 2:12-13 where we are instructed to "work out" what God "works in".  God's working in is the formation process.  My working out is my apprenticeship/discipleship to Jesus---learning from Him how to live.

what do you think is missing in a lot of contemporary churches today?

To be honest and without blaming anyone, I would have to say that many contemporary churches have the rich young ruler as their patron saint.  In the midst of possessing right answers and correct behaviors, Jesus told him that he was missing one thing---the treasure of following Jesus.  In my opinion, the vision of life with Jesus in the kingdom of God and the intention to learn from Jesus how to live there moment by moment is the great omission of the contemporary church.  The sad reality is that we, as individuals, churches, and parachurch organizations, have simply not done what Jesus told us to do:  make apprentices to Him, baptizing them into Trinitarian reality, and teaching them to do all that He said.  This is Jesus' mission statement for the church.  Why do we feel the need to invent others?

why do you think some people are afraid to embrace the teachings of ancient writers?

Some fear the Roman Catholic influence, but most of the classic spiritual writers either were persecuted by the RC church or were critical of it.  We are also addicted to efficiency and speed and the reading of the ancients is neither, but it is deeply fruitful.

if you could only recommend one book, what would it be?
 
The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer

what is a good first step for someone wanting to connect to God?

Read the Gospel stories about Jesus, enter into them with your imagination, and experience the voice and touch of Jesus as directly as if He were speaking to you, touching you.  A wonderful companion step is to pray your way through the Psalms starting with Psalm 1.  Simply let the Psalm lead you into your own prayer.  In Gospel meditation Jesus becomes real to you.  In psalm praying you can be real with God.

what do you believe today that you did not believe a few years ago?

That is actually possible to routinely and easily do the things Jesus said.

the one true thing: what is worthy of your lifelong devotion?

soul keeping : ancient paths of spiritual direction